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A new conversation from the Colivers Club community
Our Slack community recently sparked a thoughtful discussion around something every coliving host or guest has faced at some point: what to do when someone’s vibe just doesn’t match the culture of the space.
From skipping group dinners to ignoring the unspoken coworking rules, this thread was full of real-life insights from coliving operators and long-time colivers around the world.
🎯 The Topic
“How do you handle situations when a guest's behavior doesn't align with your coliving community's culture?”
Some examples thrown into the mix:
Someone constantly ignoring shared space etiquette
A guest who doesn’t join activities or weekly dinners
A new arrival unaware of the “unwritten rules” of the house
💬 What the Community Said
One experienced coliving operator shared a 3-step approach:
Friendly personal reminder, followed by a general group reminder (without calling people out).
If it continues, 1-on-1 chats and family meetings help reset expectations together with the group.
Often, it's not just a person problem — it reveals a need to re-establish clear guidelines.
Another member noted that longer minimum stays and a solid onboarding process reduce these mismatches a lot. “Returning colivers help set the tone just by being there.”
One coliver emphasized that non-participation isn’t always a problem — some people just need space. But when someone seems totally disconnected, they reach out to see if there’s something the guest might want to lead or share with the group. Empowerment works wonders.
🧠 Key Takeaways
Lead by example: Hosts and returning guests set the vibe.
Address issues privately, then use group reminders to reinforce expectations.
Unwritten rules need to be made visible, especially for first-timers.
Don’t assume non-participation is negative — sometimes it’s just a personal need for quiet or space.
Publicly thanking ideal colivers helps reinforce the culture and onboard others organically.
This kind of exchange is exactly why we created Colivers Club — a space for real talk between real people living the coliving life. If you’ve dealt with something similar or want to see how others do it, join the convo in the Slack group.
🍉 Until next time, happy coliving.
